Barometz Soup

 I'm going to level with you, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs. My side of the dungeon has been too hot this past week!  I know many of you are also facing heat but I'm a very temperate slime.  A combination of both age and global warming are starting to get to me.  It seems I'm a pool of sweat whenever I finish a run these days. But I gotta run, DMMs!  So I'll manage.  How exactly?  There's a bad urban legend that the best way to deal with heat is to eat hot food!  And what better hot food is there than soup?

"Barometz!? We've already cooked that you foppish fluid." I can hear you yell into a one-way walkie talkie.  Tut, tut, DMMs.  Yes, we are using Barometz again but trust me.  This won't be what you are expecting.  How do we get to eating Barometz for a second time?  There's a real short answer.

Kabru found it. See you all next week!  Okay, okay. HOW did we get to Kabru cooking Barometz soup for?  If you recall the exciting conclusion last week we found out that Cap'n used to be a Dungeon Lord.  Sounds important!  But how do you exactly become one?  Is it something you go to college for?  Maybe it's a family business passed down from parent to child?  In Cap'n's story he was a Canary going from island to island killing Dungeon Lords.  That is until he found a mirror.

 

Sounds fun!  Have you ever wondered what you actually wanted?  What would that mirror show you? Cap'n saw the life he gave up to be a Canary. One filled with hot elves and luxury.  So he did what anyone would do with an evil mirror.  Smashed it!  Only something came out.

Not just a goat. A talking goat!  Look, DMMs, if you learn one thing from this chapter it's this.  Any talking animal that comes out of a smashed mirror is a demon. That's a fact.  Doesn't matter if it is a talking red panda or even a talking kitten.  That thing is from hell.  Cap'n didn't leave or kill the goat.  He stupidly listened as it offered to grant any wish he had.  And Cap'n had a lot!

Looking pretty goaty, DMMs!  Here's another lesson, no demon just gives things away for free.  Each wish made the demon stronger to the point that it visited Cap'n in his bed.

This is really hot or really dangerous, DMMs.  Maybe this is one of those sexy demons we talked about a few weeks back?  I mean what do you make of this next panel?

Goat is eating something here!  But, unfortunately for Cap'n, this isn't a sexual situation.  Goat is eating Cap'n's desire.  What does that mean, exactly?  The demons in this world love the taste of desire, the very nature of what you want.  That's why it keeps granting wishes, to make you desire more and more.  Goat chowed down on Cap'n and vanished.  Cap'n didn't die, however, and was found.

She's wrong, however.  Cap'n does want something!

He wanted omerta, DMMs!  He wanted rewenge! Cap'n will hunt Goat and any demon down until they are all dead.  And after that?  I don't think he's thought that far ahead. The problem is since his mind is only full of Goat murder it means he doesn't want things like eating, drinking or sleep.  So it falls to Kabru to make him do those things. And that's the only story of why Kabru cooks Barometz Soup!

So we know why but what exactly are we making this week?  True, the obvious answer would be a lamb stew of some kind.  I have to admit I thought that would be a good option.  I love lamb and I love soup!  But we've already used lamb.  Then I remember something else about Barometz from this world.

Crab flavored!  Why not make a crab soup?  We've made a few soups and stews on this adventure so I then thought by not a bisque?  Crab bisque to be exact!  A bisque is a creamy soup that uses a good amount of milk and cream so maybe sit this one out if you are lactose intolerant, DMMs.  Also, if you are like me and live in a very land locked part of the dungeon your access to crab is going to be limited. Traditionally crab bisques call for lump meat but I will be using claw meat instead.

What's the difference?  Lump meat is going to be juicier and more tender than claw meat.  But where I live claw meat is $50 cheaper per pound.  So claw meat it is!  If you are lucky to live near the sea then go ahead and use lump meat.  Just know that I'm very jealous of you for being able to do that.  Let's get one thing straight about this week, DMMs.  I'm only kinda following a recipe for Crab Bisque.  I want to try my hand at coming up with something on my own.  First change?  Rice! Not just any rice...Coconut Rice!

Coconut rice is easy to pull off, DMMs.  You just need jasmine rice, coconut milk and water.  Coconut milk by itself is a little too thick for rice to absorb so you'll need to cut it with water.  For a cup of rice use about a half cup of coconut milk and a half cup of water. Throw those into a rice cooker and let it do it's thing.  You'll be mixing the rice in at the end of the bisque so go ahead and start it ahead of time.  While it cooks you can bring out the big three of basic soup making.

Onion, celery, garlic. Just about every soup starts with these.  I used half a large onion, five cloves of garlic and two celery stalks.  Give them a good chopping.  Once you are finished putting the knife to them melt a fourth cup of butter over medium heat.

I'm always going to share photos of melting butter, DMMs.  It's one of the greatest sights this world has to offer.  Once the butter is melted add in your veggies.  These will saute for about 8 or so minutes.  Until they tender up.  

You better soften up, you veggies!  We are making creamy bisque here.  Once the time has past add in about five tablespoons of flour to help thicken things up and your spices.  What spices did I use? About a tablespoon of nutmeg, a half tablespoon of white pepper and a good squirt of Worcheshire sauce!  I know Old Bay is most common but I have to watch my salt intake and that's all salt! Give it all a quick stir.  

Don't let it burn, DMM's!  Just put it on for a minute.  Now it's time for a secret weapon.  Ready to use an ingredient you probably never touch and wasn't aware your grocery store even had? 

Clam Juice!  Yes, it's a real thing.  And it's great if you don't have the time to make your own seafood stock.  As far as I know it's not actually made from clam squeezin's.  I'm not going to look into it out of a fear that it is, DMMs.  Pour half of this in and give everything a good stir, making sure to scrap the brown bits off the bottom.  Then add in the rest.

Gross!  I wouldn't eat this mush, DMMs.  I won't stop you if you want to try it, however. Time to liquify it.  How?  Dairy.

Two cups of milk and a cup of heavy whipping cream!  I mean...this isn't exactly health food, DMMs.  This is creamy goodness!  Stir all this up, bring to a simmer and turn the heat down to medium low. Dairy is a tender ingredient that you don't want to scorch! You'll want it to simmer for ten to fifteen minutes.  Just give it a good stir from time to time.  After that add in the rice and crab!

Kinda looks like a crab cake soup!  You really just want to heat the crab, DMMs.  So four minutes should get you there.  Once that time has past you have crab bisque!  Nah, I'm going to call this Me Crab Stew!   It would be cremier without the rice but I was just in a mood, you know?  Which is the key to all cooking.  You don't need to fully follow a recipe.  If you want to add something, do it!  More likely than no it'll turn into something yummy.

Okay, it may not look like much.  Looks, just like demons, are deceiving!  This is a fantastic dish that I didn't have to lose my ability to desire anything in order to make.  Which is great because it makes a lot and I did desire more after my first bowl.  Looks like it's going to be a crab bisque week in my dungeon, DMMs!  Give it a try in your own kitchen. Play about with various spices and make Crab Bisque your way.  But come back in a week because we are going to look a little closer at demons.  The non-sexy kind!