Travel Rations Set for Adventurers

 What a great day, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs!  After last week's post I got an answer to a question I've long had.  And I finally have it!  Nobody is reading this blog!  None, zilch, nada, no one. How else could I explain nobody following instructions to tell me who their favorite C List character?  It can't be that the question was "silly" or "below my station."  Nope, it's that nobody is actually reading this.  Which I find very freeing!  Now I can be honest with how I feel. So here's some straight truths!  Thanks for reading.  I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy writing.  But you're not hear to listen to me go on about the truths of the universe.  You are here for dungeon cooking!  And do we have a large project this week.

"What a crappy dinner." I can hear you sob.  And you are right.  This isn't so much a dinner as it is snacks for a long car trip.  I have to admit, DMMs, I almost skipped this week.  I mean, this is all foods you can buy at a gas station!  There's no monster involved at all.  How can this possibly be dungeon cooking?  It's not!  It's not even being eaten by our jolly gang of gastropodes.  No, it's eaten by this group.

There is a second group going through the dungeon that sort of follow in the wake of the gang.  To be honest, I didn't find them that interesting.  The long and the short is these morons keep getting killed, the gang finds them and moves the bodies to easy to be found locations and take a little something as payment.

Taking food from dead bodies has to be a crime somewhere, right?  Anyway, the goobers are found by revivors and brought back to life.  Just with less food.  I know I'm being hard on them and honestly they aren't so bad.  One is a real good judge of character.

And I love that kobolds in this world are dog men!

So you can see why I thought about moving on to something more interesting.  I'm sure there's a top notch blog about the Eugene, Eugene! episode of Hey Arnold! being published right now.  But fight that urge, DMMS. Something in that photo of their meal jumped out at me.  I've already made bread, can't make wine and can't harvest nuts. But what about dried meat?  I could give that a try!  So this week we are making beef jerky, DMMs.  Making beef jerky WITHOUT a dehydrator!  This comes together quick but requires a lot of time so don't make it on a day you don't have four to five hours.  We start with a lean cut of meat.  You don't want fat, DMMs.  That would give too much moisture which is the enemy of dehydration. I went with Sirloin Tip Roast!

Now for the fun part!  Cutting that beef into thin, and I mean THIN, strips.  1/4th to 1/8th inches is what you are looking for.  I've heard a tip that if you put the meat in the freezer for twenty minutes that will make the beef easier to cut.  I just used a serrated knife.  Just go with the cutting style that works best for you.  Keep slicing until you're out of beef.

Now it's time to add some flavor to the jerky.  We'll do that with a marinade.  This is where you can get creative, DMMs.  You know the flavors you like so go with what suits you.  Here's my line-up!

Soy sauce is normally the base for the marinade but I'm going with something a little different.  It's Hon Tsuyu, a soup and sauce base that Kikkoman puts out.  It's similar to soy sauce but not as salty.  I love using it as a substitute for larger recipes.  No matter what you go with you'll need 3/4ths cup of it.  From there it's a tablespoon of Worcestershire Sauce, a teaspoon and a half of all the spices (Cumin, Cayenne Peppers, Paprika), four cloves of garlic, and as much black pepper as you want.  Put the meat in a gallon zip-lock bag and put all of the seasonings over.  Now for a little note on what you aren't seeing, Liquid Smoke.  Some use it to give the jerky the smoked flavor you'd only get if you dried this the old fashioned way with wood.  I'm not a fan of Liquid Smoke, it tastes more like chemicals than smoke to me.  So I'm not using it!  But don't let that stop you.  Just remember, a little goes a long way with that stuff so keep it under 2 teaspoons.

This goes into the refrigerator for a minimum of 4 hours.  Longer is better.  I went for 12 hours but I know some that wait a day or even two!  Once you've waited as long as you can stand it's time to roast!  Line a baking sheet with a baking sheet or foil and use an oven safe baking rack.  You'll put the meat on the rack and the rack on the sheet!

Yummy?  I'm not a big meat eater so I'm hoping this looks good, DMMs.  Refrain from eating this meat raw!  We need to kill the dangerous pathogens that could be lurking at the microscopic level.  Beef has to get to an internal temp of 165 for that but the slow roasting method we'll be taking will make that very difficult.  So you'll want to set your oven for 350.  We are going to quick heat this beef for ten minutes then turn the oven down to 170.  That's the temp the beef will set for as long as it takes!

Let them roast for two hours and give them a look.  Every thirty minutes after that you'll rotate the pans.  Once they are a temp of 165 and look leathery then you'll know they are done!

These are not too bad out of the oven but they are way better after sitting in the fridge overnight.  Are they better than what you can buy at the store?  Hard to say!  Are they more fun than buying them at the store?  100% more!  What they are not is shelf stable so keep these in the fridge.  You'd have to use some heavy duty salts for that and I do not have them laying around.  I do have a working refrigerator however!

So that's it for this week, DMMs!  Thanks for watching dry some meat.  Seriously, if you ever have an afternoon to kill give this a try.  Or should I say give this a...dry?  Come back next week as I talk about something I've been avoiding.  Nutrition! Fun!