Hot Succubus Milk

 Age check, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs!  This post is for mature adults only. If you were born before 2005 could you please leave now and choose one of the less blue posts? Good, now that the kids are away let's get to talking. Talking about S E X.   Not so loud, DMMs!  A small impressionable tyke could have their mind blown by even reading salacious prose.  The last thing I want is for the Internet Police to raid this blog!  So if you a super prude or a child turn back now. Last warning!  This week we are talking Hot Succubus Milk!

Didyour monocle just pop off of your face, DMMs?  I'm sorry to freak out you buttoned down Madison Avenue types.  But I'm a free love slime.  I can't be constrained by your puritanical rules!  Being a slime it's hard to constrain me normally. Doubly so for rules set by squares.  But how did we get from the G rated Dungeon to the part behind the curtains?  The Dungeon seemed to be such a family friendly environment.  The Orcs had families!  Were their babies raised with gyrating hips in their face at all times?  Well, the road to Hot Succubus Milk starts with a naughty cat.

You tell them, Izutsumi! Nobody can tell them what to do or how to live, just like me!  If we don't want to wear pants who are you to tell us to put'm on, man?  Izutsumi has had it with the Gang's "rules" so she goes off to check on the only person she seems to respect, Senshi.  Good thing to because she finds Senshi near a fountain and he's in....a way.

Good night, DMMs!  Someone has literally sucked Senshi dry!  I mean, we've all dreamed but for it to actually happen?  What in the name of the Dungeon could have happened to everyone's dream dwarf?  Luckily we have a walking talking monster manual.

A Succubus got Senshi!  We'll get into the main lore of a succubus next week, DMMs, so for now just know that a succubus is normally a demon that visits you a night.  Where they *looks around to make sure the kids are far away* have sex with you and steal a bit of your life in the process.  Consensual sex with a smoking hot being from another plane of existence?  Horrible!  The Gang manges to get separated while looking for the succubi which has an expected outcome.

Chilchuck I can understand but Laios?  What could possibly turn that guy on?  That's my only problem with this chapter, DMMs.  We never see what got close to Laios and Senshi to drain them.  You see, these succubi take on the form of what you find attractive so it's different for everyone.  We do get to see what get's Chil and Marcille's motors running, however.

I'm not going to tell you which succubi goes with which party member, DMMs. Personally I see the appeal of both which means these monsters would have my number fast.  I do like that they can conjure a horse.  These succubi don't halfass things!  Hubba-hubba.  If I had to guess Laios saw a four-headed hell hound with dimples while Senshi saw a talking rice cooker with curves.  Which leaves Izutsumi alone to save the day.  Uncharacteristically she decides to help which means the succubi try a two pronged attack.

Remember, Izutsumi is a creature that results from stirring a human and cat soul together until they are smooth with no lumps.  Good for the dessicated members of the Gang, neither of these really affect Izutsumi.  She's able to fight back and finds out something interesting.  These succubi aren't demons at all.  They're mosquitos.

Does this make it better or worse, DMMs?  I guess you actually get to have sex with a real succubus while the mosquito version just gets to sucking.  The bad kind.  These succubi literally put the Suck in Succubus!  With no other options Izutsumi jumps into that fountain where she found Senshi and finds something else.

Succubus larva!  Let this be a lesson, DMMs, standing water is a breeding ground for mosquitos.  Never let pools hang around your home for long!  Real mosquitos carry diseases and aren't nearly as sexy as the Dungeon version.  Finding the succubi larva Izutsumi gets to throwing which drives the succubi away trying to save their babies.

Infanticide is probably okay in this situation...right?  Izutsumi isn't going to Dungeon Hell for this?  She has managed to save the day and makes a nice discovery when she stabs a dead succubi.  They are full of a white liquid.  NOT THAT KIND, DMMS!

Milk!  Perfect for helping dry husks of party members to get their mojo back!  Before serving the succubus milk Izutsumi has an important health message to deliver.

Never EVER drink raw milk, DMMs!  I'm being 100% serious here.  Izutsumi is correct to heat this milk up because it can be swimming with salmonella, e. coli, listeria, and many more nasty things.  Izutsumi is one clean cat.  Which finally gets us to this week's recipe...Hot Milk!

 Hey.....HEY!  Get back here!  I swear there is more to it than just putting milk in a cup and microwaving it for a few seconds.  Mainly because, as you well know, I don't own one!  So we'll cover how to heat milk on the stovetop but more importantly I'll go over two fantastic drinks you can make with hot milk!  Trust me, DMMs. This will be worth it.  First is hot milk itself.  This is more complicated than you would think.  If if over heat milk it can curdle.  This is a recipe that you can't leave alone, DMMs.  Pour a cup of milk into a pot and put that heat to Low.

You'll want to heat this up slowly and stir occasionally.  That will prevent the milk from burning to the bottom.  Milk, of course, it's water. It's full of fat and proteins.  You also don't want to cover the pot to speed the process up.  This forces the oxygen out of the milk too quickly and produces a foam that will immediately spill out of the pot and onto the stove. That's not fun to clean up and it smells bad if the milk gets on the burner, DMMs!  Slow and steady is the way to do it.  Eventually you'll see steam start to rise up and small bubbles form around the rim.  That's when the milk is hot!

Trust me, the steam is there.  Just pour this into a mug and enjoy!  Hot milk is supposed to be great for sleep.  I've never had it work for me but some people swear by it.

Now that you know the basics it's time to get fancy!  How about we make one of the oldest medicinal drinks known to humanity, DMMs?  One full of spice and has a beautiful color?  Grab some Turmeric because it's time for Golden Milk!

Golden Milk is an ancient drink that comes from India.  For centuries people have enjoyed this spiced concoction to wind down.  It's a fantastic way to end the day, DMMs.  As you may have already guessed the star attraction is Turmeric.  This is easily one of my top spices.  Such an earthy flavor that's just a little mustardy.  Turmeric goes great in everything!  I use it in drinks, rubs, stews, pretty much any dish. Turmeric is also one of those spices that come with a lot of health claims. Largely that it can reduce inflammation. There really isn't any medical evidence that it works but it is still a tasty spice so use it for that first and foremost, DMMs.  How does this all tie to Golden Milk?  Let's take a look at the larger lineup!

Pretty varied!  Turmeric, cinnamon, black pepper, and honey.  Trust me, there's honey in that jar.  There's an older gentleman who sells it out of his truck near an abandoned barn on my drive home.  I am not kidding here.  It's good honey!  You really don't need much of any. For two cups of Golden Milk you just need two cups of milk, a teaspoon of turmeric, a fourth teaspoon of cinnamon, pinch of black pepper to start.

Okay, not too tasty looking at this point but give it a good stir. Set the stove to Low again and just let it warm up the same way we did with Hot Milk.  Once you see the steam come up stir in a spoonful of the honey.

And you're done!  It's a good idea to pour this through a mess or a coffee filter.  There are always going to have little spice bits in the drink so best to remove them.  Now you can see why it's called Golden Milk!

Absolutely delicious, DMMs!  Trust me, if you need to warm up this is the drink to make.  It somehow increases your body temperature but it also calms you down.  I don't care if it's a contradiction!  This works.  Give it a try the next time you just need to chill at the end of the day.  But let's say you are aren't feeling spicy.  You want a hot milk drink that's more on the sweet side?  There's a simple option. Hot Chocolate!

The mighty trio themselves!  This is all we need for killer hot chocolate, DMMs.  Hot chocolate goes back as far as we have had access to chocolate. From the earliest days we dreamed of drinking chocolate rather than eating because it was a quicker delivery system.  No needless chewing!  For the longest time it was the prefered way to start the day.  George Washington loved him a mug each morning, apparently.  Since we have mastered warming milk making hot chocolate is a breeze.  If you are making two cups it's the Rule of 2's; 2 cups of milk, 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder, 2 tablespoons of sugar.  

Kinda looks like yummy dirt, doesn't it?  Stir this together and set the temp to Low.  While is starts to warm up you can put in a secret weapon.  A splash of the good stuff!

Vanilla extract really helps bring out the chocolate flavor. You just need a little, DMMs.  Once you see the classic milk steam stir in a fourth cup of the chocolate chips.  Stir until they have melted and mixed in. And you are done!  Pour into mugs and live it up like some rich French weirdo from A Tale of Two Cities.

Simply the best.  Yes, you can easily get mixes for both Golden Milk and Hot Chocolate.  They are sold pretty much everywhere.  And they are good mixes!  But I love to slow down and make the drinks on my own.  These are all relaxation drinks and slowing down to make them is part of my wind down.  That doesn't mean it's a better way or that I judge people who use mixes harshly.  It's your hot milk, DMMs!  Enjoy it the way you want.  Just remember that if your friends have been attacked by succubi and need you to feed them since they can't move on their own. The best thing for that? A spoon.

That's it for this week.  Be sure to come back next week when we'll take a closer look at the non-mosquito version of the Succubus.  I'm sure it's still going to be full of Hot Milk goodness!