Treasure Insect Nest Jam

The time has come, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs!  Are you excited?  Excited for jam?  Not just any jam, of course. Unlike last time we aren't making normal food with normal ingredients...well ultimately I will do both but you know what I mean.  That's right, DMM's, we are once again cooking monsters!  Not just any cooking.  As I mentioned it is JAM time!  Jam made with little shiney jewel like insects! And before you run to your keyboards to slam me once again on the Cooking Dungeon Meshi BBS, don't worry. I do know that Senshi made three dishes with the insects.  I'm going to be covering them in the coming weeks as well.  But this week is the jam.

When I started this project over four months ago this was the chapter I was looking most forward too. I know it has been one on the minds of several DMMs.  I received questions from real living people on how I was going to cook mimic insects!  Demand and expectations are running so high that I'm getting dizzy from lack of oxygen.  Especially when it involves mimic insects that look like coins and jewels.

I love mimic style insects! Walking Sticks, Leaf Bugs, those ones that actually grow moss on 

themselves?  All beautiful!  Thankfully, not as vicious as the mimic insects in the Dungeon.

But let's leave that for the leftovers and focus on the task at hand.  We are dealing with insects that look like coins and jewels.  Which brings up the main problem.  Aside from the famed Jewel Scarab there aren't many other "real" insects that have that kind of camouflage.  Also, while I'm sure the Jewel Scarab is edible, it's not an insect that's easily accessible in my region.

How to tackle such a problem, DMMs.  I'm making jam this week and there aren't many insects that make good jam.  Crickets are an option but the texture and look isn't going to be right. Roaches?  Way too gunky. We need a SHINE on that jam.  These are made from jewels.  For a hot minute I will admit I was pretty stumped.  As I began to fear that I may have to skip this week I had a flashback from 2010 when a certain cured meat was everywhere and in everything.  It has the look, the texture and the SHINE.  Bacon Jam!

"Now hold up, you cheating slime. This is supposed to be INSECT COOKING.  INSECTS!" I can hear you all scream as you throw your phones into the nearest creek in hopes to drown me along with it.  I get it.  You came here to see me grind up some insects and somehow can some jam.  This may be the easy way out but stay with me here until you see the final product.  I'm telling you, Bacon Jam will make a fine substitute.  And I swear on my gooey life that I will be using insects with the next recipe. For now let's look at the ingredients!

Pretty standard stuff.  Bacon, garlic, onion, maple syrup, brown sugar, and apple cider vinegar.  That's it.  The measurements are simple too. Half pound of bacon, half an onion, 1/4 cup each of the maple syrup, brown sugar and apple cider vinegar. Garlic is up to you but I went with three cloves (I'm a garlicy slime).  Start by dicing the bacon and onion.

I'm not going to lie, raw bacon is too slimy even for me, an actual slime!  But let's look at the onion first.  This is why I think it's a good substitute for an insect texture.

 Kinda reminds me of an insect's wing.  If you squint really hard and believe. And I mean REALLY believe.  A little blind faith is all I'm asking here!  So how to cook it up?  Senshi tells us as usual.

First, fry up the bacon.  Once it's just about cooked move it to a paper towel lined bowl and leave about a tablespoon of the grease behind.

Now throw in the onions!

Sizzle sizzle!  You just want these to soften up.  Once you've hit the soft spot add the garlic.  You don't need to cook them very long, just until you can smell them.  Now throw everything else into the pan.  The bacon, the brown sugar, the apple cider vinegar, and the maple syrup.  Simmer them up!

Now here's the hard part, it's up to you how long you want to simmer the jam.  I'm going to say 5 minutes is the best texture but your mileage may vary.  I would advise against going too much longer though.  You don't want all the liquids to steam away.  Once you've hit your time spoon the jam into a jar.  This isn't a traditional canning so no need to hot bath the jar.

See!  Shiny!  Chunky! Everything you want from a jam made of treasure insects!

The taste?

Laios is right. It was nice and sweet!  Even if it doesn't look like you're eating actual jewels it has the mouthfeel of insects which is what I was shooting for.  What it did miss was the slight grassy taste that some insects have.  Maybe I'll add some filé powder?  That could make things thicker than you'd want but it could kick up that grassy taste.  As for the jewels maybe food coloring would work if you wanted to increase the jeweled look?  I'm not sure but it could be fun to play with.

That's it for this week, DMMs. Remember to come back next week for leftovers and in two weeks we will, I swear, be eating bugs!