Crispy Mushroom and Egg Sandwich Leftovers

 Surprised, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs?  I bet you were positive last week's post would be the end of this journey through the dungeon.  How could we possibly top the best, unapproachable, unconquered Egg Sandwich?!  The hubris for even thinking such a thing!  Thankfully I am but a humble slime and know that I will never make anything as good as the Egg Sandwich and that's okay.  All dishes are worth fixing, DMMs!  Even if...nay...especially if they are lesser.  But we aren't here to talk food this week, believe it or not.  While this will be a short one we are here to talk monsters....and love!

Little Nih backstory here, DMMs.  I am a sucker for a good love story.  I always want to hear about someone's likes, loves, relationships.  What can I say? I'm a mushy slime!  I'm at least not as pushy as Marcille here but I will sit and listen to just about any romantic tale.  That little spark that becomes the flame of love gets me every time.  Think I'm joking?  I once wrote, recorded, released to the world a podcast of the 7 types of Greek love as displayed in the Gundam universe.  I loves me some love!  Given that I do know what NOT to ask.

Bad move, Marcille!  Never ask a deadbeat what their wife is like.  There's a chance he'll eventually ask.

Just shaking my head over here, DMMs.  Unless you are in an open relationship that is truly on an equal footing you have to be faithful.  Why?  Well I'm glad you asked because this all ties back to the monster the Gang fought last week, the Bicorn!

Look at that cutie, DMMs.  I can't hate things with goat eyes.  They are universally too cute.  I mean, just take a gander at the little dude I met last weekend.

It's like looking at the same image, isn't it?  How can we possibly be scared at something like this?  The interesting part is the "real" Bicorn doesn't look like a two horned horse at all.  And it certainly isn't an evil version of a unicorn.  You see, the actual Bicorn is sort of like a fat hippo. Which is a redundant statement, I know. You don't have to point it out, DMMs.

Look at that thing going to town on those dudes!  The Bicorn's favorite food is dutiful and faithful husbands.  That's why it's so fat, there are so many to eat! The Bircorn has an endless buffett to choose from because men are so great! Okay, okay. Don't roll your eyes too hard, DMMs.  At least not before you see the Bicorns best friend, the Chichevache.

Weird skinny camel chicken?  What sets the Chichevache apart from the Bicorn is it eats dutiful and faithful women.  It's so skinny because there just aren't enough of them around to eat.  That's it, DMMs!  The Bicorn is a hacky sexist joke.  Weird to know "women be shopping" is actually one of our oldest forms of humor.  And this particular one goes back a long way.  Chaucer mentions the Chichevache in the Canterbury Tales!  It's a nearly thousand year old uncreative joke!  Think I'll stick with the badass cutie-pie version we met in the dungeon.

That's it for this week, DMMs.  I am going to go ahead and warn you all that next week's post is going to be a little on the mature side.  Salacious times are coming to the Dungeon so put the kids to bed before reading!  Till then remember to be dutiful and faithful. And to leave any jerk who isn't!