Dungeon Meshi Maniacs! I didn't see you there. It's getting too hot on my side of the dungeon so I'm constantly having to wipe sweat from my eyes. I went for a run this morning that was more of a sauna than a jog. Not great considering the sun wasn't in the sky at the time! You know what's a good way to beat the heat? A cooling travel through time! Punch in the coordinates to your favorite mode of time conveyance (I prefer the Time Tunnel) and let's look at the history of Hamburg Steak!
Okay, okay. That's not Hamburg Steak. It's Mithrun. You got me, DMMs. I felt bad not mentioning him at all last week seeing how he is one of my favorite characters. We aren't here to talk hot elves I want to share Swiss Miss Pudding with. We are talking Hamburg Steak! Well, not so much Hamburg Steak itself but rather the weird trip I went on when looking into its history. This will be a short trip, DMMs, but a wild wormhole!
Hot elves who are still hot at as ogres aside, Hamburg Steak itself is one of those seriously old dishes if you consider the 17th Century seriously old. Given the name the good news is it is actually from Germany! Whether it's from Hamburg itself, who knows. I did half expect the name to come from some weird diner in Oklahoma thanks to the food histories I've researched in the past. It had traveled the world by the 19th Century when you could order the dish from THE Delmonico's! We talked about that snooty place on our Eggs Benedict trip. Could you imagine going to one of most influential restaurants of an era and ordering Hamburg Steak? I bet it would be excellent but that would be like ordering a peanut butter sandwich while wearing a top hat and tails, DMMs! Which is now something I want to do at least once in my life. So far this is a pretty dull history jaunt, I'll admit. There's nothing really salacious about Hamburg Steak itself. I was actually thinking of talking about something else this week until I saw this man!
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You know him, DMMs! That's THE James Henry Salisbury, inventor of the Salisbury Steak! For those unfamiliar a Salisbury Steak is a Hamburg Steak covered in a sort of Brown Sauce. Usually Brown Sauce itself but I've seen recipes that use Worcestershire Sauce or even A-1. Back to the history, Salisbury was a doctor during the Civil War which means he saw some things. This was the sawbones era of medicine, DMMs. Medicine was more of an attempt to keep gangrene away more than anything. One major problem was the soldier's oldest foe. Dysentery. Until recently you were more likely to poop yourself to death than die on the battlefield. Dr. Salisbury thought that the rampant dysentery soldiers faced could be cured with a diet of coffee and minced beef. The coffee I could get behind, DMMs, but minced beef? Not a lot in the flavor department there, doc! Salisbury had a grand theory that vegetables turned to poison in the digestive tract which lead to just about every maladie you could name. His grand plan? High meat, low fiber diet. That's right, DMMs! Salisbury was the actual originator of the modern day Carnivore Diet. The world's FIRST fad diet! The Salisbury steak was his masterpiece. A broiled pattie made with onions and covered in gravy or brown sauce.
True, Dr. Salisbury was pretty wrong about the evils of vegetables. But his ideas of using protein for weight loss weren't totally off the mark. And he didn't say it was as diet you should be on for your entire life. Just as needed. Love it or hate it, he made a dish that has stood the test of time. There are worse things to be remembered by, DMMs. I personally do love a good Salisbury Steak but thanks to years and years of poor replication in public schools I'm sure a lot of you can't stand the thought of them. But you can't talk about Salisbury Steak without recalling what it is the undisputed king of...the TV Dinner!
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I'm willing to bet the older DMMs just curled their toes at that image! How many of you are old enough to remember the old tinfoil packages? This was the goal of frozen food the minute we invented refrigeration, DMMs! The culmination of humanity's quest to just not have to cook. And there's no shame in that! Why talk about the TV dinner though? Simple. Sure, it does use a form of Hamburg Steak but it's creation history cracks me up! Swanson's is famous for being the first popular frozen dinner. Others existed before but Swanson's did it best. The funny party is Swanson's apparently didn't bother to write down who in their company actually came up with the idea and process! Many different people in the company and the family claim to be the inventor but none have any actual proof. Which means others in the company and the family call that person a liar! Maybe a gnome came in one night and left it next to Mr. Swanson's pillow? Whoever came up with it Hamburg Steak entered the space age. Not bad for a humble minced meat patty!
No, that's a beef patty. Thanks for joining me this week, DMMs. It's always fun to look at short histories of foods. And it's even more fun when I get to share it with you! Be sure to come back next week because we will be talking about the Cadillac of Dishes. The Tops! You won't want to miss it!
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