Giant Parasite From a Giant Kraken Broiled Plain and With Sauce Leftovers

 I have to admit I did not expect the eel flank that I cooked last week would make such a large amount, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs!  That was so much eel.  Delicious but way more than I expected to eat all at once.  Thankfully I cooked the eel properly and thoroughly which means I had a good night and pleasant morning. Why am I bringing up the after meal effects, DMMs?  Simple.  Today we are talking about what happens when you don't pay attention to safety when cooking.

We've all been there.  Just walking around after a meal when something starts to feel...off.  You can't put your finger on it but your stomach starts to sound like 19 cement mixers churning at once.  Then the bowels start to tightly clench.  New definitions of pain begin to be written!  Did you anger a deity?  Perhaps ran afoul a dark witch?  I'm afraid not, DMMs.  You were poisoned not by nefarious deeds but by the very meal you just ate.  Food poisoning is no joke!  Most of the time it's hard to pinpoint what exactly caused the ailment, thankfully this week we have the play by play!  Let's check Laios' malady to see what to avoid.  Should be educational!  HEY!  Get back here. Don't let the E word run you off.  This will be fun! Laios immediately makes his first bad choice when he decided to eat a parasite.

  Let's get this out of the way, yes you can eat a parasite if it is cooked.  Anything properly prepared is safe.  The recommended safe temperature for fish is 145 and 165 for poultry.  I'm a skittish cook, DMMs, so I'd say go for 165 if you really and I mean REALLY want to eat that giant parasite. Why the worry about internal temps?  Simple

As Senshi says, "All living things have parasites."  That doesn't mean you want the parasites from other living things to come into you, however!  That's why you want to make sure you hit those temps.  It kills the parasite in the meat so that they are safe to consume.  Here's the thing, the safest way to avoid a parasite is to not eat one in the first place.  This is were my admiration for Senshi takes a hit.

HE KNEW THERE WERE WORMS IN THE FOOD BUT LET LAIOS EAT IT RAW ANYWAY! What the heck, Senshi!?  Do dwarves have blast furnaces for stomachs that they easily deal with intestinal parasites?  Did he think maybe all humanoids have similar internal defenses?  Either way he did the worst thing a cook could do.  He knowingly let someone eat tainted food.  Just not cool, DMMs.  I know Senshi can come back from this but his stock is pretty low at this point.  What's done is done and Laios takes a huge bite of the raw parasite.  Now Laios has something tearing him up! What's next?

 There's not a lot you can do once that parasite gets to work, I'm afraid.  It'll literally tear its way through your tract until it is evacuated!  Until that happens you are in a world of hurt.  Just remember as a cook it is your duty to avoid this outcome.  It's the cook's Hippocratic Oath, Your Food Must Do No Harm.  It's seriously not hard.  Just remember to wash your hands, wash veggies but not meat, cook thoroughly, and store properly!  And if you do make someone sick it's your duty to do everything you can to help them feel comfortable.

 That's all for this week, DMM's. I will be taking next week off.

Hey!  Don't give me that look!  I have 26.2 miles to run this weekend.  I'm not going to have the ability to move enough to cook you anything.  Maybe order takeout from a local restaurant.  But make sure it has a passing grade from the health inspector!  So please come back in two weeks as we continue to eat our way through this dungeon!