Exorcism Sorbet

Have you had your fill of insects, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs?  Or was FOUR WEEKS of bugs not enough?  I get it, they are delicious but after a month we need to move on from the creepy crawlies and focus on something equally as terrifying!  Something that goes BUMP in the night. Something incororial and, if I'm being honest, impossible to actually eat.  That's right, DMMs. This week we making sorbet out of ghosts!

Oh how I've been looking forward to this one, DMMs!  Ghost hold a very special place in my past.  I spent a long part of my childhood and teen years learning everything I could about specters, spooks and spirits.  Just look at the guys!

What's not to love! So spooky, so held to this realm due to some unresolved issue.  Or they simply died, saw the door to the other side and said, "Nah, I'm good."  Either way the ghost is still here and we have to cook it.  "Wait, Nih, you ridiculous rascal. Why do you love ghosts so much?" I can hear you say as you light a candle.  That's simple. A little show called The Real Ghostbusters!

I was so obsessed with that cartoon.  And yes, I mean the cartoon, not the movies.  I was WAY more into the cartoon back in the day.  The fact that ghosts were real and were something you could study excited me.  What a fun way to spend your time.  Also, Winston was so cool!

Real Ghostbuster memories will have to wait until the leftovers next week, DMMs.  This week we aren't catching ghosts. We are cooking them!  Well, cooking WITH them is more accurate.  As you recall, DMMs, Senshi creates some makeshift holy water to drive ghosts away and in the process makes ice cream.  Sorbet to be exact!

I am lucky in that I actually know a really cool ordained minister.  I could just ask Jerry if he would bless some sorbet for me but that seems very sacrilicious. Also, sacrilicious doesn't ping spellcheck so it's a real word now!  Since bothering a friend is out of the question we'll have to do like Senshi and make our own holy water!  How?  We'll pull from my old ghostbusting knowledge!

I bet you didn't know the keys to fighting ghosts was just a pantry trip away.  All those dopes in haunted house movies never run to the kitchen.  That's why the ghosts run roughshod on them.  Thankfully you have a slime with ghostbusting knowledge on your side.  Let's look at what we got for our sorbet.

Lucky for us, DMMs, it's really simple to make sorbet. Quick too if you need to drive out ghosts in a hurry!  We have 2 bags frozen Strawberries, pinch of Salt, 5 tablespoons of Sugar, 1/4th cup Water, and 1/4 teaspoon Cayenne.  All super useful in warding off ghosts, all delicious.  Strawberries are long held for their aphrodisiac properties from all over the world. The opposite of dead ghosts is creating new living people. Sounds flimsy?  You clearly don't understand the power of the mighty strawberry!  Do you think a ghost can stand before the symbol of Venus? 

Yeah, I thought not. The next ingredient is even more powerful than strawberries. Water! Water IS life. That's a no brainer. I mean, we are making a sort of holy water with this recipe.  Water is the second word in the title!  So many purifying rituals involve a bath.  From the baptism to cleaning rituals to even tea ceremonies.  Everything starts with water.  

Moving on, what about the OG instrument for spirit fighting? Salt!

I've never gotten to the bottom of why but almost every culture views salt as the perfect substance to ward off evil.  If you're ever beset by witches or warlocks a good line of salt around your door will keep them out.  And you can't get anything stronger when it comes to purification. If you've ever gotten salt in a paper cut you know how it can purify with the intensity of a thousand suns.  And its visible cousin, sugar?  How does that fit in?

It all boils down to faith.  If you believe in the power of sugar then it exists!  Finally we are going to turn to the New World for the remaining ingredient. Cayenne Pepper.

Cayenne is an important spice for the Aztec culture.  Like salt, it has great purification abilities.  Ghost apparently do not like the heat.  Must be because they are so cold to the touch?  Opposites are very important when it comes to all things spiritual.  Next time a specter is keeping you up at night maybe spray some hot sauce on it?

So we have our ingredients, what do we do with them?  Remember when I said this was simple, DMMs?  You just dump everything but the water into a food processor, mightiest of the cooking utensils....next to cast iron but that's for another day.

See, even Senshi cooked his holy water by spinning it quickly!

The added benefit of the food processor is it is LOUD!  Spirits also hate loud noises. They have very sensitive ears apparently. Just pulse the processor until everything kinda looks like it has come together.

Looking good!  Now add the water and repeat until it looks sorbet-y.

I assure you, these are different photos.  From here just scoop everything out and put in a freezer safe container.

What you'll want to do is let this sit in the freezer for about two to three hours.  Every 30 minutes pull the sorbet out and give it a little stir. This can help it come together.

Fantastic!  After three hours your patience will be rewarded, DMMs.  Just scoop out what you want and enjoy.

Oooo, I was so happy with this one.  The cayenne worked so well with the strawberry.  Word of warning, sometimes you can hit a cayenne pocket and burn your tongue!  Chances are your tongue was haunted.  The extra cayenne was needed to drive out the evil.

That's it, DMMs! That's all you need to ward off ghosts while enjoying a frozen treat!  The beautiful thing is a lot of fruits have mystical properties.  I imagine you'll have just as much luck driving off ghouls with mango or cherry sorbet!  As for the spices you use that's also up to you.  Herbs are our oldest wards against the shadows.  All you need is a little research along with a curious palate. So enjoy experimenting.  Be sure to come back next week, DMMs. We'll get personal and look at my relationship with ghosts, which I ain't afraid of! (that's a lie. Ghosts scare me badly!)\