Barometz Bault or Barometz Chops

 Why it if isn't my old friend, Dungeon Meshi Maniac!  How have you been?  Enjoying food and works staring favorite characters that you shouldn't talk about in polite conversation?  Hey, no judgement here, DMMs.  I will take the blame for sending you down such a questionable path last week. But the past is behind us, today is for cooking! Luckily for us, this is a simple recipe. The monster, however, ain't so simple. Why don't we jump right in an chow down on some Barometz Chops!

Do you know a phrase that drives me up the wall, DMMs?  Picky eater. I hate it! I hate to hear it and I hate when someone is called that.  What's it to the general public what another does or does not like to eat? We all can't be super omnivores like yours truly. Everyone is entitled to their own likes and dislikes when it comes to food.

Darn straight, Izutsumi! Everything you said it completely wrong but if you don't want to eat monsters you don't have to.  Well, you probably will get a weird disease if you eat monsters the wrong way. That's actually a given. But you will NOT turn into one!  It ain't that easy.

Oh, Laois. Never state something with absolute certainty.  You are just asking the universe to cheat on the random monster table and just have something show up to flip your point on its head.

I'm going to be honest with you, DMMs. I thought Dungeon Meshi writer was making this one up. A sheep plant?  Come on!  How gullible do they think we are?  And then I found out it is one of our oldest myths.

The Vegetable Lamb of Tartary! Or as they say in Latin Planta Tartarica Barometz! Really hope I conjugated that correctly.  It is what it says on the tin, a plant that has a lamb growing out of it. A real lamb, DMMs!  Just connected with a vegetable umbilical cord. Cut that cord and the lamb dies.  From what I've been able to find that's all there is to it. The lamb has no special properties, doesn't foretell any event, doesn't even talk. It's just WEIRD! And it's origin is a question historians have been asking since the 1600's. Where did the legend of a lamb plant come from? Was it a mistranslation?  Could it have been a Norman seeing a Citotium Barometz for the first time and wondering why that plant has such glorious wool?

Whatever the actual origin the botanical world in the 1500 and 1600's did not consider the Vegetable Lamb to be a myth.  It was as real as you or I. Well, as real as you.  Everyone had an uncle, cousin, third best friend that totally saw a real vegetable lamb and I assume chowed down on the thing.  That's what our adventours party wanted to do until wolves stole the adult lamb leaving them with an unripe version.

Oh...oh no...I going to hurl, DMMs.  Huuuu, Huhhhhh, HUUUUuuuhhh.  We are NOT going to be eating lamb veal this week. I just, I just can't. Even though our butcher totally had some that's not a meat road I'm able to walk down.  So what does that leave us with?  Well, I don't see any wolves around here so there's nothing stopping us from eating adult lamb chops!

Lamb is an amazing meat. One that has been with us as long as we have herded animals. Other countries still eat it daily but it's become some type of delacy here in the states.  Why? We'll get into some theories next week. For now let's focus on how simple it is to cook lamb chops! First, let the chops get up to room temperature. Around 20ish minutes. I'm going to be honest here, DDMs. I'm not sure about this step. I know every recipe wants you to bring meat up to room temp before cooking but in all my years I've never been able to tell the difference. But I'm not here to buck TRADITION so 20ish minutes it is.  Now salt and pepper these bad boys!

There is not such thing as too much black pepper. If you don't like black pepper it's because you aren't using enough. That's not a joke or a put down, DMMs! I was in the same camp for the longest time. I just didn't care for or neglected to even use black pepper.  That is until I just upped the amount of black pepper used. Suddenly I loved it! Live like a medieval king, DMMs! This stuff used to start wars for a reason. Once the chops are seasoned to your liking it's time to sear them. Best way to to that? Cast iron skillet over medium high heat.

Always have a cast iron skillet on hand, DMMs. They are a workhorse of any kitchen and the go to weapon to beat up any fae folk that try to come into your home. Trust me, Oberon won't know what hit him! Once the skillet gets hot just throw the chops straight in. You'll sear both sides for three to four minutes.

Smells as delicious as it looks! After a good sear you'll want to turn the temp down to medium low and add four whole tablespoons of butter to the pan. That's an impressive amount of butter!

Definitely going to get our fat with this dish! Also add half of the Simon & Garfunkel seasoning combination. Using only the rosemary and thyme. Add as much as you want!.

Now's the time to grab the old meat thermometer. At a minimum you want the interior be hit 125 degrees.  That will roughly get you to Medium Rare. Every ten degrees after that kicks you to the next doneness level.  Just stop whenever you get to the finish you are looking for. Once you achieve that level transfer the chops to a tray, cover in foil and let them rest for ten minutes. Now unlike letting the uncooked meat get to room temp this is a step you need to do, DMMs. Resting cooked meats lets the muscle fibers relax which, in turn, allows them to reabsorb those meats juices. Never forget, cooking meat is all about the juices, DMMs. And that's it! Seriously, that's all you have to do to get this.

Amazing, isn't it? One thing I can guarantee you, real lamb will taste nothing like the Barometz the gang found in the dungeon.

 I guess I could have laid some imitation crab on the lamb? Yeah, I ain't doing that. Too expensive! If you're lucky and live in a country that still has lamb back on the menu boys I really envy you. It would be more or a stable of my diet if it were readily available in my area.  That was a quick and easy one, DMMs! Weirdness of the monster aside, that is. Try and cook up some lamb yourself next week. When we meet again we may talk about why I can't get no lamb round here! Have a good one.