Dragon Tail Soup & Onion Flatbread

 Every so often a fan blog manages to achieve an amazing milestone.  Usually it's hitting one hundred publications based on translation errors in the Contra video game series.  Or when an author goes off their nut and writes an entire novela of how Gadget from Rescue Rangers would totally buy American.  Today, we will talk about neither, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs.  No, today the blog hits a milestone uniquely its own.  Today we are finally eating us up a DRAGON!

Please contain your excitement, DMMs!  This is simply a picture of the meal that we'll be making today.  No matter how hard you try you cannot reach into the screen and take the food.  But your jubilance is understandable.  The entire adventure started because the gang had to hunt down this dragon.  Granted, it was to save Falin...originally.  Now it's all about EATING that dragon...and also saving Falin.  I can't do anything about saving Falin but I sure as heck can cook and eat that dragon.  Before we get to the main course let's take a look at how the gang faired.  First we find out something interesting about Senshi's knife.

A kingly kitchen knife! I wager that it's worth is more than Senshi's entire hometown.  No wonder it could chop and slice any monster that they've discovered.  Which is great because Chilchuck actually comes through in a clutch!.

Even after going on and on about not fighting the guy actually puts out the dragon's eye!  It just goes to show that you can never believe what a deadbeat dad tells you.  How do the other Meshi Fighters fair?  Well....

Senshi gets smooshed! Don't worry, he's durable and survives.  But ouch.  That'll knock the wind out of you.  As for Laios...

Dude sacrifices a leg to deal the dragon a mortal blow.  I get it.  The drive to eat that dragon was great!  Oh...and bring his sister back.  Right, gotta save that Falin.  How are they going to save someone that was eaten by a dragon three to four days ago?  Never fear, Marcille is here!

Okay, if you've not read this chapter I'm sure you have a lot of questions.  Questions we are not getting to in this post, DMMs!  Nope, that's for next week.  It's cooking time this week!  We have two dishes to get to and I decided to make both this time rather than back them up.  This is my way of making up not having anything to talk about last time!  Fun!  Let's start with the easiest, the Onion Flatbread!

Oh!  Hey, Falin! Remember when I told you about the three things every home cook should focus on to get "good"?  There's a fourth that I would add to that list.  That's learning how to make a simple pizza dough.  Seriously, these are some of the easiest things you can put together and they freeze well.  Once you've mastered a simple pizza dough you can always have one on hand and ready to go.  Plus, as we see today they can be used for way more than just a pizza pie.  But how do you make a pizza dough?  Like I said, simple!

That's it, DMMs!  Take a look at the ingredients I pulled out for my dough.

That is it, DMMs! Yeast, water, floud, sugar and olive oil.  This starts the same way the bread we made a few months ago.  By activating some yeast.  If you recall you need a cup of warm water, around 105 degrees F.  Add a tablespoon of yeast and sugar to the water and give it five minutes.  You'll see the water get all foamy.

Yay and yum! Time to stir in about two cups of flour and mix into a ball.

Wirr, wirr, wirr! I love my mixer, DMMs.  This little machine is over 20 years old and still helping me make all sorts of baked goods.  If you don't have a mixer you can always roll this by hand.  It doesn't have to be a huge todo. You just need a ball!

Okay, it's not a pretty ball and it's a little sticky but trust me this is what you are looking for.  Now time to let that yeast do its job!  Place a damp cloth over the bowl and walk away for about an hour.  Come back and see the power of yeast farts!

HUGE!  This makes two solid pizzas, DMMs, so deflate and cut it in half.  If you're going to freeze some of the dough stick it in some cling wrap, put in a ziplock bag and place into the freezer.  If you are going to use today either use immediately or put into a large ziplock bag and put that in the refrigerator.  The dough is going to continue to expand!  We have our dough so now it's time to cook us up some onions.  We aren't just cooking the onions, DMMs.  No, we are going to be downright mean to them!  Caramelized onions!  First we have to chop them.

Now it's time to practically burn these onions! Put in a tablespoon or so of butter and a tablespoon of olive oil into a large pot.  Heat those over medium high heat and then add the onions.  Show these onions no mercy, DMMs!  These are bad onions that stole money from orphans. Also, they told me you all look like dorks!  Stir and roast them for 15 minutes.  Be sure to scrape the bottom of the pot while you go.  Once that's done turn the heat down to a medium low and go at it for another 20.  Maybe less.  You just want a dark brown color.

This is a good shot of the halfway point.  Caramelizing onions is a trial and error process, DMMs.  You may have to try it a few times until you get to a technique you like.  Once they are done just move the onions to a cool bowl.  It's time to shape the flatbread.  First, preheat the oven to 450 degrees.  This is a pizza dough so you'll be cooking it like any other pizza.  Using your hands or a roller just stretch out the dough to a nice rectangle.  Be sure to have some extra flour on hand to make sure the dough isn't too sticky.  Once you have the shape you're happy with add the onions and whatever topping you want.  I kept it simple and just put on goat cheese.  It's the GOAT of cheeses!

Could probably eat this right now, DMMs.  But we have to show restraint!  If you are lucky enough to have a pizza stone throw this on there.  Otherwise just use a baking sheet.  You want the edges to be brown so give it 15 to 20 minutes.  Once it looks cooked it is cooked!

This was my first time making onion flatbread and I have to say I was impressed.  This makes for a great appetizer or finger food.  You could easily cut this into smaller bits for parties.  Even newly back to life Falin loves it!

It sure is!  Granted she's been dead and this is the first food that she's eaten so her tastebuds may be hankering for anything.  But I loved the one I made.  I plan on making it again soon.  I know, I know, DMMs.  I can hear you squirming in your ergonomic gaming chairs.  When am I getting to the fireworks factory?  Or in this case, the dragon.  Right now!  Stop!  Dragon Time!

Every time you see it, the dragon's just so hyped.  Dragons are always going to be the coolest of the cool.  The story always stops when they show up in any fantasy setting.  Which leads us to the biggest problem, DMMs.  Dragons are 100% fantastical creatures.  Their presence means that you are undoubtedly in a fantasy world!  Since we are in the real world what option do we have? I gave long thought on this, DMMs.  In the end there was only one animal that could possibly be a good stand-in.

Alligator! One of our countries apex predators.  Long term DMMs will know that this slime lives in the landlockiest of areas.  So alligator isn't easy to come by.  Thankfully I also live near a well stocked butcher which had a selection of alligator steaks!  That's a weird sentence to have typed out, DMMs.  While I have access to alligator meat that doesn't mean I know anything about preparing it.  From the texture I can tell this is tough.  That makes sense seeing how alligators are a lot of muscle.  Since we are making a soup I'm not too worried about that.  Speaking of soup let's take a look at our ingredients.

Pretty simple stuff aside from the alligator meat.  Six cups of chicken broth (seafood broth would also work, five cloves of garlic, a can of petite tomatoes, a chopped onion, a cup of celery, a chopped green pepper, and a half cup of flour. Alligator has a rather light flavor so we will need to make a spice rub!

Granted, if you are pressed for time a store bought creole mix would work.  For me I just got out a tablespoon and mixed up cumin, paprika, thyme, white pepper, black pepper, and cayenne.  As an aside, how awesome is white pepper?  It's great if you want food to taste better!  Take that spice rub and...well...rub it all over the alligator steak.

I guess it looks good?  Any of you DMMs have experience with alligator?  Can you tell if this looks good?  One thing I noticed with the alligator is the absence of fat.  We start with browning the gator and without a good amount of fat to melt we will have to add some to the pot.  What's the best fat to cook with?  Butter!  I said best, not healthiest.  Melt an entire stick of butter over medium heat and throw the alligator steak in there!

This'll take about 13 minutes.  Use a spatula to break up the steak into bite sized pieces while it cooks. You'll soon have gator niblets!

Looks like pork! Once the 13 minutes are up move the alligator pieces from the pot to a nearby bowl.  It's time to assemble the actual soup.  Start by adding some more butter and throw in the onions and celery.

See!  Without the alligator this looks like the start of an average vegetable soup.  Now it's time to make things weird.  Dump in that half cup of flour and just keep stirring for two minutes.

Gross!  I'm not going to claim that I'm making a roux here.  It will make a thicker soup though.  After two minutes are done it's time to add the tomatoes, garlic and any of the spice mix that you may have let.  Keep stirring and scraping the bottom as this heats for four minutes.

Trust me, DMMs, this will eventually turn into soup.  Right now you're going to rely on those big beefy arms to constantly stir and scrap for four minutes.  It's not a glamorous job but this will be worth it in the end.  Once the four minutes are up you finally...FINALLY get to add in some liquid.  Put in half a cup of the chicken or seafood stock and stir and scrape.  Once you've given it a good stir add another half cup.  Let this cook for a minute or two while you continue to stir and scrape.  See!  So much arm work.  Cooking gives you guns!  Once the minute or two has passed dump in the rest of the stock.  Now you can return the alligator meat and if you're feeling frisky add a little kick to it.  Some use two tablespoons of some alcohol.  I went with apple cider vinegar.  Bring to a boil and turn the heat down to a simmer.  This will cook for 30 minutes.

It's soup, DMMs!  Glorious soup!  Since you have thirty minutes to wait you may as well make some rice to pour this over.  You can also add hot sauce if you want but I find it's better to wait until the soup is served.  Everyone has their own tolerance level for heat so let them decide how much to add to their own bowl.  And what a bowl it will is!

That's the stuff, DMMs!  Alligator soup over rice.  I've only ever had alligator once in my life but it was so long ago that I couldn't remember the taste.  Texture wise with the preparation method we used this really felt like eating pork.  The taste isn't 100% porklike.  It's hard to explain so let's just say it tastes like alligator!

Laios knows the score.  The soup was fantastic, if I may say so.  It may have taken a lot of effort but in the end it was worth it.  Granted you could make this soup with chicken or pork but if you have alligator on hand that's the way to go.  Also, this makes so much soup that you may get a few meals out of it. Here at Nih Basecamp we had the soup again two days later and that really increased the flavor.  Soup really needs to sit around to become truly awesome.

So we've saved Falin, killed and eaten the red dragon.  Adventure's over, right?  Ha!  This dungeon, much like my stomach, is bottomless.  Stick around, DMMs.  We have so much more to eat!