Vegetables In Slime Aspic

 What do you do when failure is all but guaranteed, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs? When the odds of success are so low that a bet of Zero dollars would net ten if you pulled it off?  Quit? Walk away? Have the good sense to say, "Wow, I am not going to embarrass myself in front of everyone this week?"  Luckily for you I can't do any of those things. No, when confronted with guaranteed failure in the kitchen I have no choice but to let it wash over me. And when it's gone, only I and a ruined dish will remain!  Join me as I approach this week's recipe with trembling knees.  It's time for Vegetables In Slime Aspic.

Before we make a mockery of culinary history why don't we check in on the Dungeon Crew, DMMs?  Last time they were talking to a ghost who offered to take them somewhere.  Foolishly the crew followed.  DMMs, never follow a ghost to a second location. It's always the afterlife.

I will have to admit, that does look like one fun trip!  Maybe I'm being to harsh with the rules on never following a ghost?  Have I been missing out on wacky taffy pulling adventures?  And look at the afterlife these ghosts get!

It's pretty much "real" life but with one key difference.  They live alongside monsters!

Laios' dream come true!  Screw the real world, why not just stay here?  This place rules!  Tutt, tutt, DMMs.  All that glitters is not gold.  You see, these souls have been trapped in this utopia by the Lunatic Magician for nearly a thousand years.  They can't age, can't leave and can't really taste anything.  They just exist and go through the motions. For example, the gals in the village were so excited to have a new body type available the had to throw a little fashion show of the various dresses they made over the years.

Not to brag, DMMs. I could make this work.  But because nothing ever changes the people of this land long for an actual death. They can't move on because the Lunatic Magician doesn't want them to. We'll get more into why that is as the story goes on but for know just know they are trapped in one gilded cage. Speaking of gilded, check out the spread they cook up for the gang!

That is a menu straight out of the Gilded Age!  Why make such an amazing meal if you can't taste anything?  The villagers just want to watch the Crew eat to enjoy vicariously.  This is where we get this week's recipe, DMMs.  Since the rule is I only make one recipe from a full meal I had to choose any of the dishes above to try and cook for you.  So many yummy options but my cursed eyes kept going to the upper right.  Why not try an aspic?  Why not walk the path of destruction? One that has ruined so many home cooks before me?  Can I call myself a cooking slime if I haven't failed at cooking my brethren?  If I don't try, DMMs, I'll never know how badly this is going to go! And that's a thought that would haunt me.  So Aspic it is!  But what is an aspic, exactly?  

An aspic is a savory gelatin molded into shape that encases another food.  Which could be anything, DMMs!  I've seen aspic with whole fish, entire meals, even, just floating there in a clear casing.  It's an amazing feat of cooking if you can pull it off. Fail and you look like a fool.  These have been all the rage since at least the 9th Century but didn't become mainstream until the invention of instant gelatin.  Why?  They were seriously labor intensive! In the past you'd have to start by creating your own gelatin.

 Mr. Burns isn't joking here, DMMs. You'd have to render pigs feet, hooves and anything with high cartilage to first create the gelatin. This takes hours and the average person would not have access to that many pigs feet!  By the 1920's you could buy instant gelatin by the packet and the age of the aspic had arrived!  Seriously, your grandparents and possibly great-grandparents were crazy for the stuff.  They'd make aspic anything. Like all fads, it did eventually fade and now hardly anyone bothers.  Which is a real shame, DMMs. A well done aspic is the perfect centerpiece!  But just because it's not popular isn't  going to stop us from trying! I'm not a slime that chases the latest trends so let me grab a packet of gelatin and we'll get this show on the road!

 The recipe I'm using says you only need one packet of the stuff so that's what I'll go with.  Like with yeast, we need to make this "bloom".  Do this by mixing one packet with 1/4th cup of cold water.  Just stir it all together and give it five to ten minutes to sit.  It'll look like Jell-O you don't want to eat.

Okay, we have our gelatin. What will the actual liquid in our aspic be?  If you want a clear aspic always go with a clear stock. But I'm more in a tomato mood this week, DMMs, so I'm going with tomato juice. This being my first aspic I'm keeping the mixing simple and just using a zucchini.

 Be sure to dice that zucchini up and only use as much as you want.  You don't want to overfill the aspic.

Mix this with two cups of the tomato juice.

Now for the weird part, we need to heat up the gelatin. We are going to turn it into a liquid to better incorporate into the juice.  This will allow the gelatin to cool down again and bond to the other liquids creating the mold.  You do this by setting the over to as low as you can get it and wait. It really doesn't take long, maybe just a few seconds.  

Once it's back to liquid, take the pot off the burner and pour into the juice, mixing all the time. Now it's time to choose a mold to form the aspic. This is where you can get super crazy, DMMs.  Remember, an aspic is pretty much for show.  Granted, your aspic will be tasty but it was the literal centerpiece for centuries, after all!  So choose a mold you like that will really wow your guests. Or, do like me and go with an easy release silicone cupcake mold and make individual aspics.

This is one of my kitchen workhorses, DMMs. I love things in muffin form and I love how easy it is to pop things out!  Luckily the mixture we have is just enough to make 6 aspic muffins!

These go into the refrigerator for at least four hours but the longer the better.  I left mine in for over a day and brought them out for dinner.  So the time finally came.  I brought the muffin mold out and laid a cutting board on top.  With a quick flip I turned the mold over and held my breath.

....well...I got the slime part right. I walked a route so many walked before me and ended in the same location.  I will admit, I did get a little bummed, DMMs. I really wanted to pull this one off even though it was my first try.  It's an old tale, it's a sad song....but we're going to sing it again! That's right! I am going to try this one again for the leftovers next week.  I'm going back to the drawing board and figure out what went wrong. So if you have any tips I'd love to hear them. Thankfully, this was still edible.

I mainly made a non-chunky gazpacho. Not bad but not what I was shooting for. Be sure to come back next week, DMMs. Will I be able to correct my mistake?  Who knows! But it'll be fun to try.  So check back in 7...wait...I'm being told this chapter also had a minotaur with huge naturals.  We'll go there live with our reporter on the scene.