Living Armor Feast

 It's December, Dungeon Meshi Maniacs! Time for cold, snow, early darkness, and most importantly time to eat!  Eat lots!  Luckily we are stuck in a dungeon with a thriving ecosystem! Tons to cook and eat.  So let's take a look at this weeks menu.

Ah...right.  It's Living Armor week.  Or is it Armour? Give me a second to check a map.  Looks like I'm not in Great Britain so Armor it is!  Gotta admit, when I first read this chapter I had serious questions.  So far the gang has done a great job eating the very fleshy and chewy monsters that they've found.  But living armor?  As far as I know none of them can eat metal.  I mean...it is a fantasy world so who knows if elves can eat swords.  There could me a magical world where that happens!  But not here.  And look at this guy!

You are going to snap a molar trying to bite into any of that!  Thankfully, once the gang has overcome the living armor in combat they make a very edible discovery.

It's a kind of mollusc!  I "can" eat and cook those!  Heavy quotes around that CAN.  You see, your slimy chef lives in a very landlocked area.  The closest ocean is hundreds of miles away.  I've seen an oyster before but actually cook them?  Nope.  I can't even say that I've ever eaten an oyster!  This will be exciting since this is the first time on this journey that I have no idea what I'm doing!

Looking at the menu Senshi makes four dishes with the Living Armor: soup, stir fry, grilled, and a "casserole".  Two things jump out.  One, I do not have a musty old helmet to steam oysters in. So that's out.  Two, I don't own a grill.  Or even really have a way to grill anything.  So why don't we broil those instead?  Sound fun?  Let's get that soup started!

Look, I said I live in a landlocked state. I have to use the oysters I can get so canned oysters will be used for the soup and the stir fry.  Great thing about a basic oyster soup is it is cream based.  Butter, a lot of onions, oysters, milk and half and half.  "But Nih, you silly goose, you absolute boob, you stubbed toe of a slime. You have no half and half in that photo!"  You all have got my number!  This is a smart group!  I don't have any half and half. But no worries, I have milk and heavy cream.

All you have to do is mix equal parts heavy cream and whole milk.  So to make a cup you need half a cup of heavy cream and half a cup of whole milk.  BOOM! Half and half and those big wigs down at the Half and Half Counsel won't see a dime!  Now onto the cooking!  First, melt some butter and then cook those onions.

One of my favorite smells ^^.  Once that's cooked to your liking you'll want to watch the temp.  We are about to add the dairy and you do not want that boiling!  Too hot and it'll kinda currdel.  You just want a simple simmer.  I went with 3 cups of milk and one of the "half and half". 

Yummy!  Now time to add the oysters.  Just dump them on in or drain the juice and add.  It really depends on how "oystery" you want the soup to taste.

Sweet!  At this point add as much pepper and salt that you want.  Or any other herbs and spices you may have on hand.  Let these simmer for 8 to 10ish minutes!  Check this out!

Oyster Soup done!  And not too bad.  I can't say they taste like mushrooms but I can kind of see what Marcille is talking about.  Oysters have a very intense flavor!  So far, so good.  Now onto a stir fry! Let's start with the basic ingredients of any stir fry.

There we go! The dream team base of any stir fry that I make: broccoli, carrots, red bell peppers, and garlic.  Simple, easy, tasty.  I plan on using canned oysters again so the next stage is the sauce.  Having never stirred the fry with oysters before I guess a more seafood based sauce would do?  How about this lineup?

Just through about 1/4th cup of soy sauce into a bowl.  Add a few tablespoons of gochujang, oyster sauce, sugar and cornstarch to the mix.  And a little granulated garlic and ginger to boot!

What a handsome group!  Stir fry is fairly straightforward. Just follow what Senshi does!

 Heat that oil up hot, add the veggies and stir while they fry.  About 8 minutes in add the oysters and go at that for six to eight?

Okay...so far so good.  Add the sauce and plate.

Oh...that...that looks edible.  I'll be honest, I wasn't a fan.  I believe the stir fry broke the oysters too much making them very bitter.  I did feed this to a willing test subject and they enjoyed it more than I.  Maybe because I'm just not used to oysters?  Well, let's put failures behind us and move onto the final dish.  Grilled (Broiled) Oysters!

Look at this thing!  It's a rock with meat inside!  Try as much as I did I could not simply rip the oyster open with my bare hands.  I then tried asking it to open, shouting at it, negging it.  Nothing was working ><.  So I decided to do what Laios did.

Pry it open with a sword...well...knife!  I have heard that people who live in the dark and mysterious land called the East Coast have a specific knife designed specifically for opening oysters.  What other wonderous inventions may they enjoy!?  Sad to say, I had no oyster knife.  I also didn't want to risk breaking my own knives.  When backed into a culinary corner I fall back on my experiences growing up  in a rural area.

I used a flathead screwdriver.  Hey now, don't laugh. It worked!  Look!

Just top with a bit off butter and granulated garlic.  Throw under a broiler for fiveish minutes?

I think these are cooked?  They tasted cooked and I didn't get sick after eating!  All great.  Taste?  I did enjoy them but I can't say oysters are my favorite.  Maybe one day I'll try some made by someone that knows what they are doing?  For now I'm happy I tried which is the whole point of this project!

So that's it for the Living Armor, DDMs.  I have to say cooking this much was a bit of a pain.  In the future I'm either going to break up multiple recipes into their own week or maybe just go with the "main" dish?  What do you think?  There's so much more to eat as we continue down this dungeon together!